急！代求翻译！翻译成英文，不要用翻译软件，语法尽量通顺

我试试吧，希望不是很走火……不过应该是很走火…… 不好翻啊……
《谈礼貌》 Speaking of Politeness
刘：现在提倡呀讲礼貌。
LIU（L）：Nowadays we are encouraged to be polite.
董：这才和咱们这个文明国家相称。
DONG（D）：It sorts with this nation with a splendid civilization.
刘：比如说我见着您了，我得跟您这么说话。
L: For instance, I meet you and chat with you.
董：怎么说呀？
D: In what kind of tone?
刘：同志劳驾，我跟您打听点事。
L: Excuse me Comrade. May I inquiring something from you, please?
董：你瞧这多客气呀。有什么事，你就说吧。
D: You stand on ceremony. Yes? Ask whatever you'd like to know.
刘：我跟您问一个人。
L: Could I ask something about one person here?
董：你要问谁呀？
D: Who's he then?
刘：我问的这个人呀，长的是高大魁梧、浓眉大眼，听说是位学生。
L: Speaking of this person, he is tall and sturdy, with thick brows and big eyes. I heard that he is a student.
董：你说的这人叫什么名字呀？
D: What's the name of that man?
刘：他叫董烁。在您这学校吗？
L: He is called Dong Shuo. Is he in your honored school?
董：哦，在在在。
D: Oh, yeah.
刘：您给我请出来，我跟他见见面，谢谢您呀。
L: Could you please help me ask him out to meet me? I really appreciate your efforts.
董：别谢了，我就是。
D： You are welcome. I am the very one.
刘：您就是董烁同志，太抱歉了，这么半天没看出你，对不起呀！你听这话你心里怎样？
L：You are Comrade Dong Shou? I'm so sorry for failing to recognize you just now. So, what do you think when you heard those?
董：我听着舒服，这话多谦虚多客气呀。
D: I feel comfortable. How modest and mannerly!
刘：你看看，抱歉、对不起、谢谢、您、请。要是换一种说法，没有这些客气话，你听着你心里不是滋味。
L: Let's see, excuse me, pardon me, thanks, honored you, please. If we change the tone, cancel those words expressing politeness, you may listen with a bad mood.
董：那怎么说呢？
D: How it goes?
刘：就这么说。嘿！我说。
L: Let's see. Hey! Say what.
董：这叫什么称呼呀。
D: How it can be called like this way?
刘：我跟你打听个人。
L: I wanna ask you about one chap.
董：你要问谁呀？
D: Who do you want to ask about?
刘：这个人长的比武大郎高一点，脑袋跟茶盘子似的，听说是个学生。
L: This guy is just a little bit higher than the dwarf Wa Dalang, with a plate-like head. Someone say he is a student.
董：叫什么名字？
D: What's his name?
刘：大伙叫古董呀。
L: Fellows call him as Outdated Dong.
董：还说别人外号。我就是，有什么事吗？
D: You even call him with his nickname. I am the very Outdated Dong. How?
刘：你就是！别逗了。
L: You are? No kidding.
董：什么叫别逗了。有什么事吗？
D: What do you mean by no kidding? You have something to say?
刘：有事呀，没事能找你吗？
L: Of course. How can I visit one without anything?
董：有事你就说吧。
D: Then what?
刘：别说了，说了两头都不乐意。说什么呀？
L: Well, nonsense, it's bad for both sides. How to say then?
董：有事就说吧
D: Go ahead if you really have something necessary to say.
刘：我说你，别笑，一笑比骷髅还难看。
L: You fish, don't smile any more! Your smile is uglier than a skull.
董：喝！
D: Ummmm!
刘：干吗呀这样。回头你气病了，还不愿意告诉我，傻老爷们。
L: Don't perform like that. You'll sulk to illness, and shy away from telling me, you fool.