帮忙翻译下剧本中关羽的台词（要英文）。。。如果全部翻译更好

Liang: (water)
Guan Yu: (carrying packages, the knock on the door in a low voice)
[Voice: The knock on the door in a low voice: Dong Dongdong ... ...
Liang: (not heard)
Guan Yu: (a little loud knock on the door)
[Voice: a little loud voice: Guang Guang Guang ... ...
Liang: (stretch, yawn ... ...) ah --
Guan Yu: (urgent. Chuaikai kicked the door) of the Ya!
[Voice: A lot: rat-tat-tat!
Liang: (jump) wow! - You thief! I am afraid of my mother!
Guan Yu: (robust first, and then laughs) wow - Kazakhstan - Kazakhstan - Kazakhstan - Kazakhstan!
Liang: (the confusion) laugh! What laughter!
Guan Yu: (look in the mirror) I also think that military adviser chic?
Liang: Who said that?
Guan Yu: You do not say cool!
Liang: ￥ ￥ # ?-?#! ?? @ ... ...
Guan Yu: (Zuokanyoukan) big brother I do?
Liang: the Chu Gong.
Guan Yu: Chu Gong? What does this mean?
Liang: I am a civilized, B, I do not say bad language! - - Mean shit!
Guan Yu: forget it. From today, I would like to send something. (The packages put out)
Liang: hey ... ... not gifts for the holidays this year, only gifts ... ...
Guan Yu: Melatonin?
Liang: Do not advertise good! Wrong! The old help them!
Guan Yu: What thing?
Liang: A strong wine, He Leta, the toxins can be beauty, skin whitening, la Phytosome ... ...
Guan Yu: Yes there is!
Liang: I would!
Guan Yu: Who says you give? I am the big brother to me.
Liang: Wait ... ... how all of a sudden the gifts?
Guan Yu: Hee hee ... ... you know ... ... ... ... This selection
Liang: stop! You do not!
Guan Yu: Why? I do not bargain-British Shuai (Note: read jiang, four tones)?
Liang: (serious tone of the report) Guan Yu comrades in battle is no performance is said to hide in Jingzhou Special Administrative Region of porn and alcohol all day long, you Hezui satisfied!
Guan Yu: it wrong! I only experience it live!
Liang: In any case, do not you!
Guan Yu: ... ... I said, hey, I at least have the administrative level and Liu Peng, I have the same level it big brother, how you say it should take care of you?
Liang: (pointing to the packages) What do you mean! Bribery leadership? We do not eat the Hanzhong's land!
Guan Yu: (Yizhou brow, the body center of dollars to) forget it, I do not dispute the. I see you are tired, you Xie Yihui, relax, I sing to you.
Liang: is required. (Sit down, Pazhuo)
Guan Yu: (adds, "Tian Mi Mi" of the tunes, slow deep singing) Xixi miserable you laugh ... ... ... ... Xixi suffer like flowers open in the autumn wind, I gallinae ... ... ... ... out to a
Liang: Cut!
Guan Yu: (singing Rock) who I call on him gently, a latrine to wash the toilet; run into an old woman, her name is ... pineapple ...
Liang: stop-stop!
Guan Yu: (hoarse accent) If you want to leave me, I pictures back to you, I also found I can not be returned to my mother ... ...
Liang: on! I served U!
Guan Yu: would also like to come?
Liang: I ... blood ...
Guan Yu: Yes, division, which to you. (Come up with a bag of gold coins)
Liang: wow! Gold! I love it!
Guan Yu: Well ... that ... thing? ? Heng Heng? ?
Liang: all packets in me!
Guan Yu: What do you put my name go together.
Liang: (write) it!
Guan Yu: Thank you! Division, you have the great good, I like you well!
[Voice-over: Liu Bei: pig, that the Five Tigers named to the file room manager handed me!
Guan Yu: military adviser tired, I helped you.
Liang: Ha ha. You really have my heart.
Guan Yu: the award-winning division. (Pick up the paper the next)
Liang: (out of gold, delighted to see) Why? How ... ... (ripping out "gold" skin) ah? Gold is Qiaoke 不 好意思,关羽的话与诸葛亮的话我一起翻译了!不知可不可以

Liang: (water)
Guan Yu: (carrying packages, the knock on the door in a low voice)
[Voice: The knock on the door in a low voice: Dong Dongdong ... ...
Liang: (not heard)
Guan Yu: (a little loud knock on the door)
[Voice: a little loud voice: Guang Guang Guang ... ...
Liang: (stretch, yawn ... ...) ah --
Guan Yu: (urgent. Chuaikai kicked the door) of the Ya!
[Voice: A lot: rat-tat-tat!
Liang: (jump) wow! - You thief! I am afraid of my mother!
Guan Yu: (robust first, and then laughs) wow - Kazakhstan - Kazakhstan - Kazakhstan - Kazakhstan!
Liang: (the confusion) laugh! What laughter!
Guan Yu: (look in the mirror) I also think that military adviser chic?
Liang: Who said that?
Guan Yu: You do not say cool!
Liang: ￥ ￥ # ?-?#! ?? @ ... ...
Guan Yu: (Zuokanyoukan) big brother I do?
Liang: the Chu Gong.
Guan Yu: Chu Gong? What does this mean?
Liang: I am a civilized, B, I do not say bad language! - - Mean shit!
Guan Yu: forget it. From today, I would like to send something. (The packages put out)
Liang: hey ... ... not gifts for the holidays this year, only gifts ... ...
Guan Yu: Melatonin?
Liang: Do not advertise good! Wrong! The old help them!
Guan Yu: What thing?
Liang: A strong wine, He Leta, the toxins can be beauty, skin whitening, la Phytosome ... ...
Guan Yu: Yes there is!
Liang: I would!
Guan Yu: Who says you give? I am the big brother to me.
Liang: Wait ... ... how all of a sudden the gifts?
Guan Yu: Hee hee ... ... you know ... ... ... ... This selection
Liang: stop! You do not!
Guan Yu: Why? I do not bargain-British Shuai (Note: read jiang, four tones)?
Liang: (serious tone of the report) Guan Yu comrades in battle is no performance is said to hide in Jingzhou Special Administrative Region of porn and alcohol all day long, you Hezui satisfied!
Guan Yu: it wrong! I only experience it live!
Liang: In any case, do not you!
Guan Yu: ... ... I said, hey, I at least have the administrative level and Liu Peng, I have the same level it big brother, how you say it should take care of you?
Liang: (pointing to the packages) What do you mean! Bribery leadership? We do not eat the Hanzhong's land!
Guan Yu: (Yizhou brow, the body center of dollars to) forget it, I do not dispute the. I see you are tired, you Xie Yihui, relax, I sing to you.
Liang: is required. (Sit down, Pazhuo)
Guan Yu: (adds, "Tian Mi Mi" of the tunes, slow deep singing) Xixi miserable you laugh ... ... ... ... Xixi suffer like flowers open in the autumn wind, I gallinae ... ... ... ... out to a
Liang: Cut!
Guan Yu: (singing Rock) who I call on him gently, a latrine to wash the toilet; run into an old woman, her name is ... pineapple ...
Liang: stop-stop!
Guan Yu: (hoarse accent) If you want to leave me, I pictures back to you, I also found I can not be returned to my mother ... ...
Liang: on! I served U!
Guan Yu: would also like to come?
Liang: I ... blood ...
Guan Yu: Yes, division, which to you. (Come up with a bag of gold coins)
Liang: wow! Gold! I love it!
Guan Yu: Well ... that ... thing? ? Heng Heng? ?
Liang: all packets in me!
Guan Yu: What do you put my name go together.
Liang: (write) it!
Guan Yu: Thank you! Division, you have the great good, I like you well!
[Voice-over: Liu Bei: pig, that the Five Tigers named to the file room manager handed me!
Guan Yu: military adviser tired, I helped you.
Liang: Ha ha. You really have my heart.
Guan Yu: the award-winning division. (Pick up the paper the next)
Liang: (out of gold, delighted to see) Why? How ... ... (ripping out "gold" skin) ah? Gold is Qiaoke

Guan Yu: (carrying packages, the knock on the door in a low voice)
[Voice: The knock on the door in a low voice: Dong Dongdong ... ... .Guan Yu: (a little loud knock on the door)
[Voice: a little loud voice: Guang Guang Guang ... ...
Liang: (stretch, yawn ... ...) ah --
Guan Yu: (urgent. Chuaikai kicked the door) of the Ya!
Guan Yu: (robust first, and then laughs) wow - Kazakhstan - Kazakhstan - Kazakhstan
Guan Yu: (look in the mirror) I also think that military adviser chic-

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