I am a teenage myself and I know what I need. It seems that my parents can't always understand me. If I were a parent, I'd try to understand my kids.
For example, My parents are not happy with my clothes and haircut. I don't think it is wrong to be smart. I am confident when I look smart. Sure, I will pay attention the time and money I spend on clothes and haircut. If I were a parent and met such a situation, I'd try to trust my kids a little, talk with them, understand them and if necessary, teach them the right ways to do things instead of scolding or embarassing them.
Don't let your kids refuse to talk with you. Try to be your kids' friends. If you do so, you will find the world is brighter.
Jam