检查一篇英语作文,谢谢!!!!

以下是我的修改,请楼主比照一下.因为写出具体原因太耗时耗力,敬请原谅.如有疑问,请给我发消息.
If I were Jane, would I leave Mr. Rochester?

I can’t understand why Jane left Mr. Rochester after she knew Mr. Rochester had a wife. And I think she was just refusing to enter the heaven.
So if I were Jane, I wouldn't leave Mr. Rochester.
Firstly, I believe that Mr. Rochester loves me, which is a very important reason for me not to leave him.
Next, I think that Mr. Rochester can deal with these things well, because he has so much ability.
Thirdly, if I left him, he would be lonely, very lonely. So I will live with him, and let the time prove that he really loves me .
Last, it's just a imagination that, if Jane didn’t leave Mr. Rochester, maybe the end of this story will be more perfect with less hurt and less pity.

时态不一致:And I think she was just refusing to enter the heaven.
虚拟语气不恰当:prove that he really loves me .
不定冠词用错:just a imagination

总体感觉是不错的,结构很整齐...我粗略看了下,就发现这几个小错误

If you were Jane, would you leave Mr. Rochester?
I can’t understand why Jane left Mr. Rochester after she knew Mr. Rochester’s wife. And I think she was just refusing to enter the heaven.
So If I were Jane, I wouldn't leave Mr. Rochester.
Firstly, I believe that Mr. Rochester loves me, which is a very important reason for me not to leave him.
Secondly, I think that Mr. Rochester is able to deal with these things well.
Thirdly, if I leave him, he will be quite lonely. So I will live with him, and let the time prove that he really loves me.
At last, although it's just an imagination, if Jane didn’t leave Mr. Rochester, maybe the end of this story would be more perfect, less hurt and less loss.