求英语、小笑话

有个笑话分享下

有个印地安部落的酋长，在秋天来临时， 族里的人问他这个冬天会不会很寒冷。

身为现今社会里的印地安部落酋长，他没有办法知道冬天时的气象会是怎样的。

不过，为了保险起见，他回答说这个冬天会很冷，并吩咐部落里的人准备好木材.

但是，身为一个实际尽责的领袖，他想了许久，过了几天便想到一个绝妙的办法。他到了电话亭，致电给国家气象局的人问："这个来临的冬天会不会很冷?"

气象局的人道:"看起来的确会很冷。"

酋长回到了部落，让部落里的人收集更多木材。过了一周，他又致电给国家气象局的人问:"这个冬天会很冷吗?"

"是的!"，那人道，"的确会是一个寒冷的冬天。"

酋长又回到了部落，让他的人民收集哪怕是一丁点的木屑，以应付寒冬。

两个星期后，他又致电给国家气象局。

"你真的确定这个冬天会很冷吗?""当然"那人道，"而且还将会是其中一次最冷的冬天。"

"你是怎么确定的?"印地安部落酋长问。那人回道:"那些印地安人正在疯狂地收集木材过冬呢!"

It was autumn, and the Red Indians asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.

But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'

'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed,' the weather man responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Is it going to be a very cold winter?'

'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'It's definitely going to be a very cold winter.'

The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.

Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again.

'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?' 'Absolutely,' The man replied. 'It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'

'How can you be so sure?' the Chief asked. The weatherman replied, 'The Red Indians are collecting wood like crazy.'

1. Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.
万圣节派对过后，两男人图个乐呵，打算抄近路穿过墓地回家。
Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.
走到墓地中央时，他们被从迷雾中传来的“答、答、答”声惊吓到了。
Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
正当两人害怕得浑身颤抖时，他们看到是个老头拿着铁锤和凿子，在一块墓石上凿着什么。
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"
“哇塞，先生，”其中一人喘了口气说，“你把我们吓得半死啊，我们还以为遇上鬼了呢！那么晚了你在这里做什么？”
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"
“那帮白痴！”老头抱怨道，“他们把我名字拼错啦！”

2. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it.
在去幼儿园的路上，一个医生把听诊器留在了车座上。她的小女儿拿起听诊器玩了起来。
"My daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!" thought the doctor.
“女儿想接我的班！”医生想道。
Then the child spoke into the instrument, "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"
接着，小女孩对着听诊器说道：“欢迎光临麦当劳。您要点什么？”

3. Son: "Dad, give me a dime."
儿子：“爸爸，给我一毛钱。”
Father: "Son, don't you think you're getting too big to be forever begging for dimes?"
父亲：“儿子，你不认为自己渐渐长大，不应该总是一毛一毛地要钱吗？”
Son: "I guess you're right, dad. Give me a dollar, will you?"
儿子：“爸爸，我想你说得对。给我一块钱，好吗？”
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谢谢！！
人家很辛苦！！