英语厉害的进来帮忙批改下作文，本人明年考研，英语作文不好，刚写的作文，求批改，求提错误，求建议。

leisure time of individual >>> individuals' lesiure time 复数individuals，指很多的 ‘个人’
populated by internet >> spent on the internet. populated 是指人口稠密
trend >>tend trend是趋势，tend才是趋向于
to shopping >> to go shopping
bring to us are severe >> bring us are serious
is a top one >> is of utmost importance.
recent years >> in recent years
without security >> with little safety consciousness
are deceived >> were deceived
It is quite.....they are >>> It was quite...they were都已经过去了，用past tense吧
trend to targeted by criminals >> tend to be targeted by potential scammers 注意语法，被动态时是to be，说成criminals（罪犯）太严重了
is on the ropes >>> is a must on the ropes 是指岌岌可危，在绳上要跌下来了
to defend our internet security>>> to improve our internet security
to make strict laws>>> to enforce stricter laws
for another>>> futhermore
anyone casually >> anyone readily

纯属个人意见！仅供参考！ 希望对你有帮助！ :D

to shop
is trended to be