请懂英文商务信函书写格式的高手请进 帮我检查下我的信函作业有没有错 谢谢

兄弟， 人叫John Smith， 你可以称呼人家Dear Mr. Smith, 或者Dear John

Dear Mr. Smith,
We were much impressed by your advertisement on the MAGIC CARPET magazine. Your wonderful design will be very popular among young people in my country according to our experience. Would you pls kindly offer your specs with best prices and samples?
We are ready to put these into the coming New Year market if your products and prices are proved satisfactory. Hoping that this will meet your prompt attention and awaiting to receive your catalogue.

Yours faithfully ,

Allen Hai Lin
Bussiness Manager

希望帮的上你~