帮忙批改英语作文(2)

Day and day 这个可以改成Day after day.
talk to 改为talk with 会更好。
整体的句型句式都还可以，但要注意部分大小写
you can not only greet the students next to you 这句写得不是很好。你可以改成You can show your kindness by ....
get on will with 这个will 不知道你是拼错还是电脑打错应该是well
After all, you have come to the new school for a long time.这个句子有点跟文章联不上，而且这句的意思是“毕竟，你来新学校已经很长一段时间了。”你的本意应该是想说“毕竟，你到新学校的时间不长”所以这句我认为应改为After all, you have come to the new school not long ago.
这样的答案不知道有没有帮到你，嘻嘻

Steve,
Thank you for your letter to us expressing your worries about inter-working with your classmates.
As a new students in the class, I think you should be more active and willing to express yourself and communicate with others. For example, you can join the discussion in class group work so that you can share your own thoughts and know more about other students' thinking.
Outside class, you can be more willing to greet other students and offer help to them when necessary. In turn, other students will feel your friendliness and they be willing to make friends with you.
You can also take part in some activities, such as the ball games, song or talent competition.
To solve your problems simply need to open up your mind and have more friends. Try it out !

Diana

不是group work 是Team work。
who gets into troubles
两处 other 前面都不要the
other students
other competitions
day and day >gradually
呵呵，希望可以帮到你，有不懂的还可以问我^^

应该把第一段中的the other 改成other..
如果是我的话，我会把第二段中的next to 改成around..把got改成get..
貌似需要把competition改成competitions.