帮忙英语作文改错，急！！！

Here is the graph from which we can get messages easily.
Firstly TV and film are the most important influences on the choice of the music which even take up half of the whole.It shows that many students often watch TV or movies.
Secondly,30 percent of the influence are from the friends and that of the radio is 20 percent, and another 10percent are from the parents.It might say that students listen to the radios less than watching TV or seeing films. Parents' and friends' suggestions both have effects on the choice of the students . However, the students may prefer to those of the friends.In other words, the friends' advice is more suitable for students.
At the last,the graph shows that friends, parents, radios, and TV/films can affect the music that we listen to.And I pay more attention to the holding 50%.TV and films are really playing important roles in our lives with many students on fire for them. The music of the good TV and films is popular among the students.Now,we can see them more easily ,and even see them on the MP4 wherever and whenever.But I still worry about whether the students spend too much time on the TV and films or not. Anyway, I think we can keep a balance between studies and TV if we have a clear mind toward them.
我猜这是一篇图表作文吧，你的文章用了太多and but一类的，逻辑有点混乱。写图表作为要把图表内部的关系分析清楚，自己的观点要明确，问题的两个方面最好选取一个方面谈，按照你现在的水平想要把两个问题都说清楚还是有一定的难度的，希望我的建议对你有用。你文章中还是有不少亮点的，有些词组还是用的很不错的 希望你继续加油哦~~~

TV and film is 改为TVs and films are
influences for 改为influence of
it even take 改为 it even takes
mangy 改为 many
Secondly,friends' influence is 30%.Radio's influence is 20%.And parents' influence is 10%改为Secondly,friends' influence takes 30% of the whole.Radio's influence takes 20% of the whole.And parents' influence takes 10% of the whole.
influence students choosen 改为influence students' choices
But the students may prefer friends' advice or the friends' advice is more suitable for students than parents'.改为 But most of the students prefer friends'advices to the parents' because their ideas may be accepted by the students better.
At the last 改为 Finally
the graph shows friends parents radio and TV/film can influence the music that we listen to 改为 the graph showsthat the factors the above-mentioned all influence our listening.
our live 改为 our lifetime
the good TV or good film 改为 the good TVs or films
TV and film 改为 TVs and films
is popular of 改为 is popular with
The influence even over the friends 改为 The influence even keeps up with the friends
Now,we can more easy to see them and we can even see them everytime on the MP4 改为 Nowadays, we can more easily see them and even enjoy them every second in the MP4.
TV or film 改为 TVs or films
between studies and TV 改为 between the study and TVs

There is a graph.It is easy to get information from it.
Firstly TV and film are the most important influences for choosing music and it even make up half of the whole graph（whole什么？graph吗）.It shows that many students often watch TV or watch films.
Secondly,friends' influence is 30%.Radio's influence is 20%.And parents' influence is 10%.It might say students sometimes use radio but less than TV or watch films.And parents and friends both can influence students’choices. But students may prefer friends' advice because the friends' advice is more suitable for students than the parents'advice.
At last,the graph shows friends parents radio and TV/film can influence the music that we listen to.And I pay more attention to the holding 50%（晕，这句你要说的是什么？没逻辑）.TV and film really play an important role of our lives.And many students like to watch films. The music of good TV programme or good film is popular among the students.The influence even affect friends.Now,we can more watch themmore easily and we can even watch them on MP4 all the time .But I‘m worried about that if students spend too much time on TV or watching films?But I think we can find the balance between studies and TV.

There is a graph.It is easy to get messages from it. (what graph? a bar graph? a line graph?)

According to the graph, TV and film is one of the most popular activities of many students. They take up half of the percentage. The percentile signifies students' reliance and addiction to watching TV and films.
Right below TV and film is friend. Friends occupy 30% of the graph which shows that they can get very influential. Radio/music has 20% of the graph and I agree that music can get addicting. Surprisingly, parents have the least influence (only takes up 10% among all the others).