老实人发起脾气来为何更凶?

2025-03-28 20:14:29
推荐回答(1个)
回答1:

单位的门卫老贺是公认的老实人,性格绵软,为人憨厚朴实,很好说话,见人整天就是一副笑面孔,连小孩都不怕他。可是最近,老贺发了一顿脾气,把大家都吓蒙了。

事情起由是和他换班的老周看见桌下有一双破旧的手工棉鞋,觉得土气、肮脏又十分碍眼,便顺手扔进了垃圾堆。第二天早上,老贺交班后,找不到自己的棉鞋,一问才知道被扔掉。老贺对着老周就是一顿劈头盖脸的火爆斥责。老贺的举动让周围的人十分诧异——这是那个好脾气的老周吗?他怎么也会变脸啊?

一般情况下,我们都认为老实人是没有脾气的,他们比常人有着更宽广的胸怀,更能包容和接纳,因而他们负性情绪的唤醒阈值比常人高,面对相同的情绪刺激,他们更不容易出现愤怒、委屈、焦虑和抑郁等。

其实,老实人的好脾气,是对愤怒情绪的刻意压制。愤怒原本是一种指向他人的攻击情绪,但由于老实人不愿意当场发作,一个人憋在心里生闷气,就把这种攻击行为转向了自己。有时候,这种忍辱负重憋得当事人心口疼、头脑发晕,这滋味着实不好受。毕竟,任何情绪都负载着各种能量,压抑愤怒情绪,使得愤怒上的消极能量在体内堆积,不加以合理地宣泄,容易导致个体的躯体化,致使身体出现各种情绪引发的不良表现。

当个体无法承受消极情绪时,就需要一个安全的情绪出口,潜意识会推动个体去排遣这些消极能量。老实人如果不懂得在恰当的时机去宣泄,当他感觉别人触及到自己的自尊底线,或者感觉自己一再被欺负,忍无可忍的时候,就会揭竿而起,来一场轰轰烈烈的情绪大爆炸。累积的能量瞬间涌出,情绪的强度和持续的时间都会震惊四周,显得不可理喻。

那么,老实人该如何表达自己的负性情绪呢?

一是要认识到表达负性情绪的积极作用。愤怒情绪是在指控自己所受到的不公,为自己争取被正当对待的权益。悲伤情绪是在宣告自己丧失,焦虑情绪是在表达未知中的不安和难以胜任??合理而适度的负性情绪,一方面可以帮助我们排遣内在的心理垃圾和痛苦,另一方面让别人理解我们的处境,停止伤害,并给我们提供更多的支持和帮助。表达自己的负性情绪,有着积极的价值。

二是要恰当地表达自己的负性情绪。当有负性情绪时,可以客观地描述情绪事件带给自己的感受,个人的心理需求和对对方的期待,要求对方停止伤害自己,并进行道歉。如果对方道歉还无法让自己释怀,当事人则需要采用有氧运动、参加文体活动、与信任的人倾诉、写下心情日记等健康而安全的方式,来宣泄自己的情绪。只要老实人不刻意压制自己的感受,及时地宣泄自己的情绪,便很容易调整好个人精神状态,重新建立起心理平衡。

(中南大学湘雅二医院精卫所-李则宣、黄任之)

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