求一篇关于象棋俱乐部的英语短文

WhyMenAreSoCheerful(AWoman’sPointofView) 　　damn,it’sgoodtobeaman......
　　Yourlastnamestaysput.
　　Thegarageisallyours.
　　Weddingplanstakecareofthemselves.
　　Chocolateisjustanothersnack.
　　Youcanbepresident.
　　YoucanwearawhiteT-shirttoawaterpark..
　　Carmechanicstellyouthetruth.
　　Theworldisyoururinal.
　　Youneverhavetodrivetoanothergasstationbecausethisone’sjusttooicky.
　　Samework,morepay.
　　Wrinklesaddcharacter.
　　Weddingdress-$5000;tuxrental-$100.
　　Peopleneverstareatyourchestwhenyou’retalkingtothem.
　　Theoccasionalwell-renderedbelchispracticallyexpected.
　　Newshoesdon’tcut,blister,ormangleyourfeet.
　　Onemood,ALLthedamntime.
　　Phoneconversationsareoverin30secondsflat.
　　Youknowstuffabouttanks.
　　Afive-dayvacationrequiresonlyonesuitcase.
　　Youcanopenallyourownjars.
　　Yougetextracreditfortheslightestactofthoughtfulness.
　　Ifsomeoneforgetstoinviteyoutosomething,heorshecanstillbeyourfriend.
　　Yourunderwearis$8.95forathree-pack.
　　Ifyouare34andsingle,nobodynotices.
　　Everythingonyourfacestaysitsoriginalcolor.
　　Threepairsofshoesaremorethanenough.
　　Youdon’thavetostopandthinkofwhichwaytoturnanutonabolt.
　　Youalmostneverhavestrapproblemsinpublic.
　　Youareunabletoseewrinklesinyourclothes.
　　Thesamehairstylelastsforyears,maybedecades.
　　Youdon’thavetoshavebelowyourneck.
　　Yourbellyusuallyhidesyourbighips.
　　Onewalletandonepairofshoes,onecolor,allseasons.
　　Youcan"do"yournailswithapocketknife.
　　Youhavefreedomofchoiceconcerninggrowingamustache.
　　YoucandoChristmasshoppingfor25relatives,onDecember24,in45minutes.