马克．吐温的名言

快乐不是一件自我存在的，它仅是与其他不快乐的事情相比较而言的，这就是快乐的全部。

"Happiness ain't a thing in itself --- it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. That's all it is."

缺乏钱财是所有罪恶的根源。

"The lack of money is the root of all evil."

真正的大不敬是不尊重别人的神。

"True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god."

人类是唯一的动物，他爱护他的邻居就如同爱护他自己一样，但是如果对方的宗教神学有问题，他会割断对方的喉咙。

"He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself, and cut his throat if his theology isn't straight."

每一个人生下来都拥有一项资产，它比其他所有的资产价值都高，这就是他最后的一口气。

"Each person is born to one possession which outvalues all his others --- his last breath."

良好的教养在于隐藏我们对自己较佳的评价，以及隐藏我们对他人较差的评价。

"Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person."

“名声”如同是蒸气，“声望”如同是意外，在地球上唯一可以确定的事情是被遗忘掉。

"Fame is vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion."

“原则”是“偏见”的另一个名称。

"Principles is another name for prejudice."

迷信的人总是相信那些大胆的预言。

"Prophecies boldly uttered never fall barren on superstitious ears."

“需要”不懂任何的“法律”。

"Necessity knows no law."

当你为爱情而钓鱼时，要用你的心当作饵，而不是用你的脑筋。

"When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain."

如果所有的人都是富有的，那么所有的人都是贫穷的。

"If all men were rich, all men would be poor."

你经常坦白承认自己的过失，上司就会失去戒备之心，你才会有机会去犯更多的错误。

"Always acknowledge a fault frankly. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more."

先获得事实，然后你才能够随心所欲的扭曲误解它。

"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you like."

一个人最危险的敌人是他自己的口舌。

"The deadly enemy of a man, his own tongue...."

一本怀有恶意的书籍将不会伤害到任何人，除了写作它的傻瓜。

"A malignant book would hurt nobody but the fool who wrote it."

预言是唯一的一项人类技术，它是无法经由练习而改善。

"Prophesying was the only human art that couldn't be improved by practice."

当一个人阅读《圣经》时，与其说他惊诧于上帝的智慧，倒不如说他惊诧于上帝的无知。

"When one reads Bibles, one is less surprised at what the Deity knows than at what he doesn't know."

亚当真是一位老糊涂，他本来一切事情都很顺利，而且他已经成功的赢得社区内最漂亮女孩子的芳心，但是他对自己的征服成果却感到不满足，他必须去吃那一颗可怜的小苹果。

"What a fool old Adam was. Had everything his own way; had succeeded in gaining the love of the best looking girl in the neighborhood, but yet unsatisfied with his conquest he had to eat a miserable little apple."

印度拥有两百万个神，他们崇拜所有的这些神。在宗教上其他的国家都是穷人，印度是唯一的“百万富翁”。

"India has 2,000,000 gods, and worships them all. In religion other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire."

如果你收养了一只饥饿可怜的狗，让它过的舒适，它就不会咬你，这便是一个人与一只狗之间最主要的差别。

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man."

从来就没有一个世纪，也没有一个国家曾经短缺这样的专家，他们能够知道上帝的心思，而且也愿意表示出来。

"There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were willing to reveal it."

有一个人从天堂来到人间旅游，他所使用的是有效期为三十天的减价票，他试图要把他的回程票卖掉。

"Ingersoll's story of the man that went down from heaven on a reduced-rate excursion ticket good for 30 days --- and tried to sell his return ticket."

上帝先创造了白痴，这只是热身而已，然后他才创造了教育委员会。

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made School Boards.

成功之道无他，唯一的就是：无所知又信心十足耳。

幽默是一股拯救的力量。

真理的靴子尚未穿上，谎言就跑遍世界。

虽然在一切事物中，爱情看上去是最快的，其实却最迟缓。男男女女没有一个人晓得什么是十全十美的爱，除非一直到他们结婚了二十五年之后。

Though love seems the fastest of all growths, it is really the slowest. No man or woman knows what perfect love is, until they have been married a quarter of a century.

在四月一日，回想一下这一年来的其他364天自己在做些什么。

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

我会用city而永不用Metropolis来表达城市，用cop而永不用policeman来表达警察，既然三丶四个字母的短词可以赚七分钱，为什么要用那些长词呢？

I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.

不要把事实告诉不值得的人。

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

真相比小说还要不可思议。

Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.

Mark.vomit to say:Late come of true facts, be like suddenly horseshoe, ah of shooting the head, pain!
马克．吐温说：迟来的真相，就像突然击中头部的马蹄铁，哎，痛啊！

Mark.vomit:Have no emotion to kiss, be like to die pork in person.
马克．吐温：没有情感的吻，就像在亲死猪肉一样。

Don't give up your imagination.When the imagination had no after, you can also exist, but although you living dead still.
不要放弃你的幻想。当幻想没有了以后，你还可以生存，但是你虽生犹死。

Tell the truth forever, such of words you need not recorded you to once say some what.
永远说实话，这样的话你就不用去记你曾经说过些什么。

Those persons who have a good book but don't read are unlike and can't read the person of these books to own any advantage.
那些有好书却不读的人不比无法读到这些书的人拥有任何优势。

Rather shut up don't talk, don't be eager to expressing oneself, either.
宁愿闭口不说话，也不要急于表现自己。

Calculate to the person also unimportant with the stupid stupid impression.
就算给人以蠢笨的印象也不要紧。

Comity is such a kind of intense emotion of sanctity is thus sweet, firm and honest.
友谊是如此圣洁的一种激情，是如此甜蜜、牢固和忠诚。

Such of the characteristic can make the comity support life long-as long as don't think the other party borrows money.
这样的特质可使友谊维系终身——只要不想对方借钱。

Everyone is a moon,and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody
每个人就像一轮月亮，不愿意将黑暗的一面让别人看到。

As long as had ignorance and self-confidence, you can succeed by all means.
只要具备了无知和自信，你就必然能成功。

Among all animals, the mankind are the most ruthlessness, is unique make the happiness on pain and sufferings of animal.
在所有的动物当中，人类是最残酷的，是唯一将快乐制造在痛苦上的动物。

这些是最经典的。

Among all animals, the mankind are the most ruthlessness, is unique make the happiness on pain and sufferings of animal.
在所有的动物当中，人类是最残酷的，是唯一将快乐制造在痛苦上的动物。
是这句吧 其他的还有：
Don't give up your imagination.When the imagination had no after, you can also exist, but although you living dead still.
不要放弃你的幻想。当幻想没有了以后，你还可以生存，但是你虽生犹死。

Tell the truth forever, such of words you need not recorded you to once say some what.
永远说实话，这样的话你就不用去记你曾经说过些什么。

Those persons who have a good book but don't read are unlike and can't read the person of these books to own any advantage.
那些有好书却不读的人不比无法读到这些书的人拥有任何优势。

Rather shut up don't talk, don't be eager to expressing oneself, either.
宁愿闭口不说话，也不要急于表现自己。

希望对你有用

谎言已走了半个世界，真话才在动身。
人生在世，必须善处境，万不可浪费时间，做无益的烦恼。
缺乏钱财是所有罪恶的根源。
每个人都是月亮，总有一个阴暗面，从来不让人看见。

快乐不是一件自我存在的，它仅是与其他不快乐的事情相比较而言的，这就是快乐的全部。
印预度拥有两百万个神，他们崇拜所有的这些神。在宗教上其他的国家都是穷人，印度是唯一的“百万富翁”。
言是唯一的一项人类技术，它是无法经由练习而改善。
友谊是如此圣洁的一种激情，是如此甜蜜、牢固和忠诚。
不要放弃你的幻想。当幻想没有了以后，你还可以生存，但是你虽生犹死。
每个人就像一轮月亮，不愿意将黑暗的一面让别人看到。
如果所有的人都是富有的，那么所有的人都是贫穷的