梦见一老大爷在摘梨,还送了我两个

2025-03-13 23:34:28
推荐回答(3个)
回答1:

1、有一人独自在森林中冒险,突然发现自己被食人族重重包围。于是对天空大喊:\“我死定了,上帝救救我!\” 只见天空出现一到光传来一个声音:\“还不一定,你再捡起地上一颗大石头,把带头的酋长砸死。\”于是他捡起地上最大的一颗石头,狠狠的砸向酋长,正好把酋长砸死。族人全都呆了一呆,接着怒目相向,这时天上又传来一阵声音:\“现在你才真的死定了。\” 2、校订票处:现在车票极为紧张,你要的那班火车票如果没有,你服从调剂吗? \r\n我:服从。 \r\n第二天拿到票后我怒了:我订的是到山东的票,为什么给我到山西的!!! \r\n校订票处:你不是说服从调剂吗? 3、就是这个味道 从前有位老公公,他很喜欢喝他太太给他煮的汤,他只要一天不喝就全身不舒服。后来他太太死了,他喝不到那样的汤了,就很伤心,于是开始叫他媳妇煮。   可是不论他媳妇煮得再好,他总是把它丢在一旁说:"不是这个味道,这么难喝的汤你也煮的出来啊!"刚开始媳妇总是忍声吞气,但日子一天一天地过去了,她依然煮不出来。终于她起了杀机,要杀了她公公。可是她不知道要怎样下手,她想啊想的,突然她在角落发现了一罐已生锈不堪的杀虫剂。   她把杀虫剂喷到汤里,然后鼓起勇气拿给她公公喝,只见她公公大叫说:\“就是这个味道!就是这个味道!\”\r\n4、公交车上,俩哥儿们在聊八卦。一人问:\“大S是S.H.E里的阿Sa吗?\”另一个人回答:\“啊?!大哥你是火星人啊,大S是Twins里的Selina,就是刚被烧伤的那个,汪小菲还是有情有义的,人家刚被烧伤就订婚了……\” 5、一老大爷去买西红柿,挑了三个,摊主秤了下说:\“一斤半,三块七。\”大爷说:\“就做个汤,用不着那么多。\”说完就去掉了个儿最大的西红柿。摊主迅速又瞧一眼秤子\“一斤二两,三块。\”正当我看不过去想提醒大爷注意摊主的秤子时,大爷从容的掏出了七毛钱,拿起刚刚去掉的那个大的西红柿,扭头走了。\r\n6、两个小孩谈话: A说:我们全家都很喜欢动物,妈妈喜欢猫,哥哥喜欢狗,姐姐喜欢小白兔。 \r\nB说:那你爸爸呢? \r\nA说:喜欢狐狸精。 7、老师对着班上大吼:不要吵啦……  没人理他,只好向校长告状……  当两人怒气冲冲回到教室,全班同学竟安安静境地端坐着,老师不可置信……  \“来!班长你说!这是怎么回事?\”  班长很不好意思地站起来,低着头嗫嚅着:老,老师,你说过:如果有一天你进教室时发现全班都很安静的话……你就死给我们看! 8、高三,几何老师是一老太,爱自吹,特烦人。一日在课上说:\“我在市教育局都很受重视的,他们总是请我去一起研究问题,每次都是车接车送的。\”  我无意中问:\“三轮么?\”  结果,从此一个星期被禁止上几何课。 9、某日,在学校打开水。不小心水溅在了手上,背后一位MM拉着我的手关切的问:\“手没烫伤吧?\”  尽管很疼但为了显示男子汉气概我硬是咬着牙说:\“没事,没事。\”并装作若无其事的样子。  MM突然回过头和后面排队的人们说:\“都回去吧,今天的水又没烧开!\” 10、老王上楼梯摔断了一条腿。医生打了石膏后,叮嘱他拆石膏之前不能爬楼梯。一个月后,医生拆了石膏,说他恢复得很好。老王说:\“哦,太好了,现在我能走楼梯了吗?\”医生说:\“可以了,不过你得小心。\”\“这太令人欣慰了,\”老王叹了口气说\“这些日子天天顺着外面的排水管爬上爬下,实在麻烦透了!\”

回答2:

分离

回答3:

有喜了

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